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Artist Bio | Exhibit 1: Watercolor and Acrylic | Exhibit 2: Charcoal and Pencils | Exhibit 3: Scanner Art | Exhibit:4 Scanner Art | Exhibit 5:Ready Made Ad Art | Exhibit 6: Writings & Ramblings | Sonnet to the King | Contact The Artist and Links | Misti's art directory
Exhibit 6: Writings & Ramblings

The Pre-meditated Prim & Prose Of Misti Dawn

Now that all of you have seen my artwork and artsy fartsy mistigraphs, it is time to let all of you into the other half of my brain.

Call it what you will. Either the right or left,(I have been known to act like I have two left hemispheres) these writings are the other side of me. In this exhibit you will see that it is the visual and literary arts, combined, that complete me.

Now that the above paragraph has been read, please enjoy, and take with a light heart, my pre-meditated prim & prose.

       RESUME OF MISTI DENISON

 A writing sample within itself.

OBJECTIVE:

To work for a company or individual who is taking the

world by storm and will let me provide the hail!

 

Currently working as a Genie for Husband, Son, & Assoc.

Wichita & San Francisco Bay

Misti Dawn, granting wishes to family and friends since 1975.

                                                 

                                                   Experience:

Weekly Advice Columnist & Monthly Horoscope Writer -

Fervio Tech.                         

Will be providing a weekly advice column and monthly horoscope for a new website to start August 2002

Weekly columnist/illustrator Allfreelancework.com                                   Provide a weekly column with artwork on how to be a freelance artist.

Maestro- KFDI radio station. Wichita, Kansas.

Was a radio station attendant for 4 stations.

Duties included:

Checking computers in stations frequently to make sure spots and music was playing correctly, Praying for divine help was required when computer systems would crash in more than one station, Troubleshooting computer system, Loading music/spots/breaking news, Working the boards LIVE for remotes.

Miscellaneous Duties: Occasionally walking outside to scream Why me God, why are there no Djs at night? and Please God dont let the FCC shut us down for the word I just said live on the air!

 

Enumerator- United States Census Bureau Wichita, Kansas.

Filling out census forms door to door.

Duties Included:

I would love to tell you but I swore to the United States Government that I would not discuss the work I

 did for the next 75 years. I am tempted but it is punishable by imprisonment! They take their anonymous information very seriously! 2 years down only 73 to go! (Note to self, write down experience with 2000 Census so I can tell Enumerating stories when Im 99)

 

Hotel Management - Shangri la/Oklahoma & Clarion Hotel Airport/Wichita

Reservations and Front Desk Management

Duties Included: Customer service, making reservations, executing special requests, troubleshooting, supervising employees, billing and managing of onsite dining, golf course, store, and other facilities. Key making, close relationships with customers, sales, housekeeping, maintenance, nightly reports, The ability to make guests as comfortable as possible and handle direct threats and insults if room was not as big as it looked in the picture.

 

Retail Sales Clothing and fine collectibles- California/Oklahoma

Duties Included:

Customer service, cashier, convincing sales pitchesI.E. No sir, porcelain resin is not just a fancy name for plastic. Or my favorite, Yes maam, I know it says made in the Philippines but technically it was made in America because it was made in the U.S. Territory of the Philippines. held position as top sales associate in the district for 3 months, inventory, daily advice for customers in the areas of love and loss, opening, closing, general cleaning duties.

 

                                 SPECIAL ACHEIVMENTS:

Became an ordained minister by the Universal Life Church in Modesto, Ca. April 2002

 

Started my own online Art gallery featuring my artwork: http://5minutegallery.tripod.com February 2002   

 

Had my poem Sonnet to the King Published in a book called Taking Flight and also recorded on CD called the : Sounds Of Poetry August of 2001

 

Started a Family Bathrooms Movement in Wichita, which resulted in me being seen on every news broadcast, in Wichita, for 2 days and invited on to the Oprah show to speak out for my cause. I was regretfully bumped off 20 seconds before my segment because the woman from Tahoe, whose dog was brutally murdered by being thrown into traffic, ran long. Was invited back for the following week but I declined the offer.  March 2000

 

Stopped production of all Highland Dairy Cottage Cheese products and also had it pulled off of all shelves throughout the mid-west due to finding a metal sliver in my cottage cheese. Thanksgiving week 1999

 

Endured 3 days of induced labor without medication. March 1998

 

Was married and pulled off a spectacular wedding for under $500.00 in two weeks. September 1995

 

AND FINNALLY THE #1 SPECIAL ACHEIVMENT OF MISTI DAWN DENISON

 

Survived being plummeted through the birth canal and lived to tell the tale. October 1975

 

 Knowledge of the following:

 P.C. programs including Word, Publisher, E-Mail, and Internet

 Hotel Computer Programs

Multi Phone lines/ Operating systems

Advertising

All aspects of the Art world 

Tarot Cards

Data entry

Type 40 words a minute

Accounting

Food Handling and Safety

 

                                            

 

                                           Hail-O-Meter 5000

                                              (Mock Radio Ad)

                                              By: Misti Denison

 

 Are you tired of not knowing what size hail it was that just plummeted through your car window? Do you feel isolated and left out when the weatherman tells you to expect golf ball sized hail?

                                   

Well my friends fret no more. Order the Hail-O-Meter 5000 today and take the guesswork out of hail!

 

                Just listen to some of our satisfied customers about the new Hail-O-Meter 5000

 

 

                        I never could understand just what our meteorologist was sayin when he said dime to quarter size hail. But now, with my Hail-O-Meter 5000 I always know what size it is!                         

                                                Lucy

                                               

 

Thats right eager weather Sayers, now you too can own a miraculous new device that proves

 Size really does matter!

 

The structure of the Hail-O-Meter 5000is made from an ancient material called, Thelastofthestandingrainforestwood, this incredible find has been tested to with stand the brutal furry of Mother Nature for thousands of years.

 

To measure the size of the hail, gently place the Hail-O-Meter 5000 into your hands. Next go outside and pick up a frozen ball of ice. Then find the closest match to the sizes already showing on your Hail-O-Meter 5000 You wont believe the results.

 

       Ya know, for years n years I tried to guess what size hail had just conked me on the head to cause such a goose egg. But since I bought the Hail-O-Meter 5000 I can match the bumps on my head with the actual size of the hail that hit me. Now I can measure the hail before I black out!

                                                            Ken (Lucys Husband)

                                                           

                       

                        One time, in the summer, daddys gots hit on the head by a freak hailstorm. He blacked out before he could get to the Hail-O-Meter 5000, so being the good little girl that I am, I measured the hail and it was the size of a softball! Thank you Hail-O-Meter!

           

                                    Bobby Jean age 7 (Ken & Lucys daughter)

 

Yes folks! The Hail-O-Meter 5000 is so simple that even little Bobby Jean could use it!

 

On the front of the Hail-O-Meter 5000 you will find gauges to tell you just what size measures up to your hail. Never again ask your neighbor how big the hail was.

 

Order your Hail-O-Meter 5000 from Weatherall Inc, today!

 

 

   If it doesnt say Weatherall then you dont know your weather!

 

 

 

The Hail-O-Meter 5000 will not protect you from falling hail. Hail-O-Meter is made from wood. Anyone allergic to splinters should not use this product. Not recommended for children under 5 years of age, as they may want to play with the gauges. Do not disassemble the Hail-O-Meter 5000 doing such would result in the exposing of several rusty nails that hold on the hail size gauges. Hail size gauges are made from man made materials, such as, but not limited too, a U.S. Dime, Penny, Quarter, Ping Pong Ball, Golf ball, Tennis Ball, Baseball, and Softball. All gauges have been painted in a lethal toxic paint containing led. Do not flake of paint and consume. Not recommended for prison inmates as they could fashion the Hail-O-Meter 5000 into a weapon. Hail-O-Meter 5000 is a registered trademark of Weatherall Inc,. Distributed and sold by People Are Gullible Corporation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALL CONTENT COPYRIGHTED MISTI DENISON 2002